Opportunity and Change

It’s been a long while…

(subtitle: “How I spent my summer vacation” and “What I did this semester”)

(warning: this is a long read, you may want to go directly to the lessons page)

Part 1

As most of you know, I’ve been studying in college for more than five years. Most of my batchmates (anyone who entered college in 2003) are already working, and some already have families. Somehow, those facts compelled me to at least try and find a summer job. After some misadventures, I found myself checking papers and policing high schoolers in a “famous” tutorial center.

I transformed once again into “Sir Benj”, though with a slightly higher salary (2x, where x = a UP SA’s rate). For the most part, I just check, arrange, and cut papers. Almost daily, I orient and evaluate new lecturers (almost everyone) about the class’ profile. On certain days, the higher-ups would tell me to call the parents for various reasons, hoping that my voice will be enought to make them feel that they get what they paid for.

It was a new experience for me to take four modes of travel every morning and evening (bipedal, jeep, bus, MRT). To make things challenging, I decreased my allowance to force me to use what I earn for my daily needs (the words inexpensive lunch and Greenhills have little intersection)

Lessons:

• My very high saving rate will not work unless I work near my home
• In a job, benefits are important

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Part 2

Mishaps with the curriculum hit me hard when I realized that my DOST scholarship cannot be coupled with just 6 units, resulting in a sort of technical suspension. As such, I had to find some sort of “pag-aabalahan” for the semester.The list includes:

Travian

The decline in my units was countered by the sudden increase of time required to play the browser game travian, with my villages in two accounts being razed to the ground as I sleep.I eventually deleted my accounts as it started to consume too much time and electricity.

RA

I was offered a job as a review assistant still, in their new saturday class (19 sessions = 5 months). At one point, almost everything I earned went to my lunch and fares. Thank God for my boss who somehow logged in my excess hours whenever I went early and got off late. I managed to finish handling three sections, and most likely, I won’t handle another one again.

Tutor

Despite my failed preliminary demo teaching, they managed to convince me to try my skills at tutoring (where salary =4x). I was asked to do elementary and high school subjects (from algebra and physics to history and music 0_o). For more than a week, I was teaching almost daily from 4-8pm, sometime even earlier. Factor in the commuting time, and that would mean I spent a lot more time in the center that at school.

After the students’ quarterly examinations, the center summoned me less often. I suffered from successive cases of disappearing students, who magically become sick at times when I am already on my way to teach them. Eventually, I felt like I was wasting my time, and asked the staff not to summon me unless I get enough committed students.

Sensory Training Stints

I was asked to help out as a driver, lab assistant and all-rounder for two of my teachers who do trainings for a certain 30-year old fastfood chain (rate =1.4x ). At first it was lonely, doing repetitive work alone in the lab. I just convinced myself that this job is a relevant experience to my course. True enough, the perks (food!) were more than enough to convince me.

The usuals

A relationship, church, household duties, academics, and whatever errands I get.

The unusuals

For the first time in ten semesters, I did not renew in SVCF. For a change, I tried busying myself with other stuff, having a glimpse of what it would be like to work and not have a parachurch fellowship.

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Lessons

For the past year, life has become a seemingly endless chain of changing circumstances. By change, I mean major changes, not like how an 18-unit schedule remaps every semester.

I realized that I still tend to blame circumstances for how I respond to them. I do not seem to be intrinsic enough cause change rather than be changed. That means I cannot survive spiritually in places where circumstances change drastically (like in an unreached mission field where fellowships are rare).

I remember one lesson we had in compass reading. The lecturer told us never to make a potentially mobile object a landmark. “three hundred meters mula sa kalabaw” or “sa likod ng kotse” are examples of frail landmarks.

Circumstances are like frail landmarks, it’s pointless to base your life on things that change. Let your life be based on something immovable, like our God, who is a Mighty Fortress. The bottom line? Seek daily strengthening from God. Asses your circumstances, but don’t build your life around them. Don’t forget what God has commanded you to do.

*ang hirap pala mag summarize ng mahigit walong buwan…

//It’s been long since I last blogged. Haven’t thought of something edifying to share lately. I have been taking medications for tuberculosis for more than two weeks now, and it has somehow made me weaker that I normally am.//

    While pondering one day, I realized that life can be defined as a series of chairs. From the moment we learn to sit, there has always been a specific set of chairs for each phase of our lives.
    The chairs that we have occupied and will occupy say something about our lives and status. Round table meetings have specific ranks in specific positions. As we grow up, we trade our high chairs for the playground swings, and then for arm chairs at school.  At work, we have different chairs, often becoming more fancy with increasing ranks. After retirement, there’s a chance that we’ll sit in a wheel chair. If you’re from a certain tribes in the northern province, you’ll be buried seated in a seat-for-life.
    The chairs or seats we occupy are opportunities that often do not repeat. Not everyone gets to study after college, work at the same office desk for years, or hold chairmanship positions for multiple terms. These chairs represent kairos moments that should not pass ungrabbed.
    I have had many regrets in the past. Not sharing God’s good news of salvation to friend I might never encounter again. Choosing to not attend certain events and trainings that I knew would have been worth my time. Not giving my all in the positions I once held. Spending too much time in the computer chair and toilet bowl.
    Perhaps in the future, I will be made to choose between chairs. Whatever the case maybe, I hope all my decisions will be inclined towards pleasing the One whose throne and judgment seat I will one day stand before. The One who chose the seat at the right hand of God, rather than the throne of this world. The One whose chair I am not even worthy to see, Jesus Christ.

    So, what are you waiting for, don’t just sit around there, uhh, do something?

    Last Wednesday, after emerging from the nearby grocery shop with a white plastic bag, I saw an all-too-familiar silhouette, with matching car, from a distance. The shadow happened to belong to Melvin, a man who shared the same schools as I did since elementary. After some chit-chat and updates with each other’s lives, he decided to pray for me, as I was to speak in a dorm fellowship a day after.
    It was then that he mentioned that our friendship has become "…a brotherhood of sorts." As I looked back, I remembered how we once walked a distance of around 6-8 kilometers on foot, as 6th graders. How after that, my mom grounded me and my brother from hanging out with him.
    Come high school, we became Pokemon card and console RPG game enthusiasts. He was being a nominal Christian, and I was a struggling believer who was ashamed of my faith. Before graduation however, I saw how he was transformed by God into someone with the boldness and passion to share Jesus.
    Though we rarely get to bump into each other these days, we have both seen the faithfulness and work of God in our lives. Perhaps apart from being both sinners saved by grace and having the same Lord, we are bonded by the witnessing God’s power in changing lives and turning us into Christian men, into a brotherhood of sorts.

I was typing this last night when all of a sudden, I clicked on an ad by accident, and *poof*, all the text went bye-bye.

Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship.
Leadership, Discipleship, and Missions Camp 2007.
The Incomparable and Inconvenient Truth: Living as Followers of Christ.
October 23-29 (or 21-30 for us)
The Lord’s Garden, Brgy. Looc, Calamba, Laguna

"Ikaw daw director ng camp na to ah."

"hindi, si Lord."

Warning: This entry will contain many grammatical errors, and will not be as creative as the previous ones. This piece will be way different from the one i wrote last night. please bear with me.

This camp, from its conception, has truly been inconvenient. From the speakers and counselors backing out, to the schedules that were never final.

A total of 109 campers for the 3 tracks were recorded, not counting the participants to the Councilor’s Training Conference.  Roughly  180 people were involved in the camp, including counselors, staff, and speakers. This has been, I believe, the biggest  sem-break  camp ever held, in terms of sheer number.
 
I was blessed with many highly competent co-workers who were able to stand up to the pressures of planning without breaking down, and were wise enough to give sound advice to us youngsters. (congrats!)

From the start, I already felt unworthy to direct the camp. This was partly because I can’t commit myself 100% to the camp knowing that I left responsibilities at home. I found it hard to entrust them to the Lord, especially since they were continually demanding my time.

There’s also the constant pressure of being blamed for any small thing that goes wrong, and being accountable to everything that happens (accidents, changes in the schedule, wrongdoings, etc.)

Eventually, a staff asked me to make a choice between pastoring the flock or directing the camp. I chose the rod and the staff, but found it hard to veer off from my administrative and curricular job description. I missed cabin devotions and bonding moments because of exec meetings. I missed out on some sessions to help in the physical arrangements. I barely knew my small group(s) beyond the surface. I was Mary and Martha at the same time, sometimes choosing what is good, sometimes, what is better.

During the camp, we faced a lot of trials. It seemed to me that, in line with the theme, it has somehow become the incomparable and inconvenient camp. The Lord has made us realize the theme before, during, and after the camp.

These trials include: overlooking counselor’s antics, overlooking camper’s antics, delayed sessions, sessions not going according to plan, swapping schedules, demolishing schedules, perennial complaints, spiritual battles, and physical ailments.

Lessons

• PLEASE GOD, NOT MEN. Even Jesus had enemies, and got negative comments. I heard a lot of negative feedback during the camp, and even from outside the camp. Yet my job was to continue the work assigned to me, regardless of what others do or say.
• HUMILITY. God taught us to be humble, down to the toe-level.
• SENSITIVITY. Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. We overlooked a lot of things that made some of the young ones stumble, and realized that some issues (like homosexuality) should not be taken lightly. Things that appear harmless to us are actually offensive to some. Indeed, being a stumbling block to the young ones is considered a great sin.
• GRACE ABOUNDS. There were times that we almost gave up. It seemed that the people were not ready to evangelize, and the weather, unwilling to cooperate. Yet, it was as if the clouds pulled back,  and the  doors in the neighborhood swung open.  There were also times that we almost screwed up. We didn’t have  a prepared final challenge up until an hour before it was given.  Apart from that, the plan wasn’t followed, as God lead us to some minor changes, and changing more than half of the final challenge message minutes before it was given.
• MERCY. Even before the campers arrived, a family came to us for help. A 73 year old mother with breast cancer was brought to us. We shared the gospel, prayed for them, and gave them a part of the offering.
• PERENNIAL INCONVENIENCE. Even after the camp, campers and counselors have been facing illnesses, persecutions, challenges, and struggles. Living as followers of Christ was never easy, but, it was, is, and always will be, worth it.

Christianity is never more than heeding a call: "Follow me."

To God be all the glory!

direk benj
(camp janitor)

GOD’S GRACE PUTS EVERYTHING IN PLACE

I woke up today (thursday) frantically preparing for my 9:15 exam
I arrived in IC 45 minutes before time, and so was looking for the schedule to see where our room was
As it turned out, our exam was scheduled yesterday, at the time when we had our oral report in another subject.
And so, I panicked and texted my classmate:

"xxx! Nagfinals ka ba ng 150 kahapon?"
"bakit, hindi mo alam?"
"Namiss ko sya! Thursday nakalagay sa sa sched ko, 9:15-11:15. Waaah!"
"Haha, swerte ka dahil hindi natuloy! Sa sat na lang daw… may swerte pa palang nananalatay sa dugo mo. hehe. joke"

Well, there you have it. God’s grace is truly immeasurable. It even transcends one’s own stupidity…

What a nice way to start our celebration. of the 6th 11th…

Yan ang pangalan ng pangkat na dati kong hinawakan sa CWTS

Yan ang bilang ng mga lobong inihampas sa ulo ko

Yan din ang bilang na naka-saad sa lobo

Dahil yan ang bilang ng taong tinagal ko sa mundong ito
—————————————
    Ako’y nagtaka kahapon kung bakit nagkaroon ng Land Cruiser sa labas ng aming bahay. Isang pamilyar na mukha ang aking nasilayan sa bungad ng aming tahanan. Sa ilang sandali, ako’y pinapasok, ang ilaw ay bumukas, at sumalubong sakin ang halos dalawang dosenang tao na pinaghahampas ako ng mga lobo. Nahati ang hilera ng mga tao at aking nasilayan ang aking kasintahang naka-ngiti habang binabati ako ng maligayang kaarawan sa Nihonggo.
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Masaya ang kinalabasan ng aking ika-21 kaarawan, kahit na ako’y naggaling sa isang pagsusulit, nagpasa ng ulat, nag-ulat, at naulanan.
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Sa lahat ng bumati, nakalimot, naki-surprise, at kung anu-ano pa, salamat! ^_^

Nag-reunion kahapon dito sa bahay ang 1st sem batch ng apps ng SVCF noong year 2003.

• Bigla kong naalala yung unang big fellowship namin noon sa sunken garden.

• Ang mga nakapunta sa ay sina LA, Nessie, JB, Sarah, Feona, ate Jen, Hilda, at Pao. Humabol din si Frank.

• Bumaha ng ice cream, cake, rellenong bangus, at beef with vegetables.
• Narealize ko na accountable pa rin ako sa mga tao at dapat mas madalas kami nagkukumustahan
• Napaka buti ng Panginoon sa aming lahat, yun lamg ang masasabi ko

haay, the old days, nakakamiss pala…

I haven’t played and RPG for more than 1 hour total this semester.
I watch TV only once every two weeks.

Growing up sure is hard

The camp is fast approaching and we still don’t have an expositor

Let tomorrow worry about itself

God is my strength, I shall trust in no other

baw

<Now to continue what I aborted the other day>

SEVEN THINGS THAT SCARE YOU

1. Failed Leadership, Discipleship, and Missions Camp
2. Failed Subjects
3. Backsliding
4. …and leading others with me
5. A horribly painful and slow death
6. Further delay
7. God’s wrath

SEVEN THINGS YOU LIKE THE MOST

1. Sleep
2. Encouragement
3. Calculations
4. Gaming
5. Smiling
6. Preaching
7. Janna

SEVEN IMPORTANT THINGS IN YOUR ROOM

1. Bible
2. big bed
3. journal
4. mp3 player
5. pillows!
6. electric fan
7. keychains

SEVEN RANDOM FACTS ABOUT YOU

1. smiley
2. too honest
3. wakes up virtually the same time each day
4. pessimistic
5. people pleaser
6. chicharon eater
7. dependable

SEVEN THINGS YOU PLAN TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE

1. Lead more people to Christ
2. see snow
3. have a family
4. make a positive impact in society
5. find God’s place for me in world missions
6. share the gospel without shame
7. kick a cat

SEVEN THINGS YOU CAN DO

1. take nice pictures
2. cook most recipes right the first time
   
3. counsel other people
   
4. preach
5. analyze situations in advance
   
6. lead bible studies
   
7. make paper frogs
   

SEVEN THINGS YOU CAN’T DO

1. eat bony fish without choking
2. reach my toes while standing
3. sleep when i want to
   
4. sleep when i need to
5. share the gospel boldly
6. think positively for more than 30 minutes
   
7. renounce my faith in Christ
   

SEVEN THINGS THAT ATTRACT YOU TO THE OPPOSITE SEX

1. emotional maturity
2. good encourager
3. lighter than me
4. sensitive/discerning
5. thoughtful
6. passionate for God’s glory
7. physical beauty

SEVEN THINGS YOU SAY THE MOST

1. Ha?
2. ok
3. ano yun?
4. aaaaaagh!
5. haay…
6. hmm?
7. parang

SEVEN CELEBRITY CRUSHES

1. angel locsin
2. valerie concepcion
3. 
   
4. 
   
5. 
   
7. 
   

SEVEN PEOPLE YOU WANT TO SEE TAKE THIS TEST

1. frank
2. nathan
3. ezra
4. cha
5. ate rachel
6. jeremy
7. ate rhoda

      "Satan hindered us." 
              — 1&nbsp;Thessalonians 2:18

Since the first hour in which goodness came into conflict with evil, it
has never ceased to be true in spiritual experience, that Satan hinders
us. From all points of the compass, all along the line of battle, in
the vanguard and in the rear, at the dawn of day and in the midnight
hour, Satan hinders us. If we toil in the field, he seeks to break the
ploughshare; if we build the wall, he labours to cast down the stones;
if we would serve God in suffering or in conflict-everywhere Satan
hinders us. He hinders us when we are first coming to Jesus Christ.
Fierce conflicts we had with Satan when we first looked to the cross
and lived. Now that we are saved, he endeavours to hinder the
completeness of our personal
character. You may be congratulating
yourself, "I have hitherto walked consistently; no man can challenge my
integrity." Beware of boasting, for your virtue will yet be tried;
Satan will direct his engines against that very virtue for which you
are the most famous. If you have been hitherto a firm believer, your
faith will ere long be attacked; if you have been meek as Moses, expect
to be tempted to speak unadvisedly with your lips. The birds will peck
at your ripest fruit, and the wild boar will dash his tusks at your
choicest vines. Satan is sure to hinder us when we are earnest in
prayer. He checks our importunity, and weakens our faith in order that,
if possible, we may miss the blessing. Nor is Satan less vigilant in
obstructing Christian effort. There was never a revival of religion
without a revival of his opposition. As soon as Ezra and Nehemiah begin
to labour, Sanballat and Tobiah are stirred up to hinder them. What
then?
We are not alarmed because Satan hindereth us, for it is a proof
that we are on the Lord’s side, and are doing the Lord’s work, and in
his strength we shall win the victory, and triumph over our adversary.

Morning & Evening is the classic devotional by 19th-century writer
and preacher Charles Spurgeon.

*Asian food expo pala ngayon.There’s always next year…